


Silent Words on Paper

by fallenrose24



Category: Xenoblade Chronicles, Xenoblade Chronicles 2
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-03-05 13:46:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13389078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallenrose24/pseuds/fallenrose24
Summary: (Spoilers through Chapter 5) Brighid thinks her love is unrequited.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Run away if you haven't finished Chapter 5.
> 
> I had a rough day at work, so the happier crack!fic I was working on kinda died. This short piece came out instead. It was a productive way to vent some negativity.
> 
> Italics are journal writing.

_Today, I told Pyra she should confess her true feelings to Rex. I went as far as to tell her she shouldn’t be his Blade is she couldn’t be honest with him. I suppose that’s a little unfair coming from me…_

_In truth, I’ve told Lady Mὸrag more about myself than any other Driver I’ve had. With the others, they simply asked to read my journal. That was enough. But not for her. No, Lady Mὸrag refused to read anything I had written. She wanted to hear everything from me whenever I was ready to share it with her. I think that made our bond even stronger. Honestly, just the fact that she had wanted to know about the human part of me is a bit of a shock… she’s not like my other Drivers in so many ways. And I am thankful for all of them._

_I suppose that’s why it may have been wrong of me to berate Pyra so openly. To be fair, I did tell her I know what it is like to be afraid of rejection. I understand that all too well._

_When I first met Lady Mὸrag, I was so shocked by how young she was. Perhaps young is a bit cruel to call a woman who had been orphaned, adopted to lead an Empire only to be replaced by a child, and then enlisted in the military all by the age of 18. She was inexperienced, but her drive and desire to have a place in this world was so… incredible to behold. I was just as in awe of her as she was of me._

_It took her so long to realize how worthy she already was of being my Driver. Our earliest training sessions were fraught with injury because she simply refused to believe in herself. I still can’t forgive myself to failing to realize that until after I had hurt her. My fire takes a confident hand to wield safely. I knew that and yet I let her be burned. A lesser woman would have given up, but she came back, bandaged from wrist to elbow. She worked so hard to prove to the world that she had earned the right to wield me… I don’t think she ever realized I was striving to do the very same for her._

_I recall vividly the day her father died. I found her looking out over the city, standing at the edge of Grian Wing. That was my place. She knew I would often steal away for a moment of quiet in that exact spot. I couldn’t help but wonder if perhaps she needed me, but felt too proud and ashamed to ask… so she went to the one place she knew I would be eventually. I stood there with her, watching lives move on the busy streets of Alba Cavanich… a city her brother now owned. I held her hand and we said nothing for quite some time… until she finally felt safe. She crumbled and I caught her before she could fall. I held her until her eyes ran out of tears._

_She rose through the ranks of the military quickly and without any favoritism. She wouldn’t allow it. I’m sure having me at her side helped quite a bit, but she earned her reputation as the Flamebringer. After all, I am only as strong as my Driver. It was only after she had made a name for herself amongst the soldiers that she agreed to take on the title of Special Inquisitor. His Majesty, Emperor Niall had wanted to give her that title almost immediately after taking the throne. A lesser woman would have accepted. Lady Mὸrag refused. She wanted to feel as though she deserved the position as the youngest and only female commanding officer of the Ardainian military -  nepotism be damned._

_I think she still questioned herself even on the day she donned that uniform for the first time. I found her staring at herself in the mirror as she put together each piece at a painstaking pace. Each button, each gear… her hands were actually shaking. I saw the tie slip between her fingers at least three times before I couldn’t stand it anymore. I took the black cloth from her hands and what I saw in her eyes will never leave me. I had never seen her so afraid. Even when we resonated, her eyes at least held a sense of awe for me… but she felt none of that for herself as she stood wearing a uniform that part of her still believed she did not deserve. I couldn’t let her think like that again. I reminded her of every accomplishment, every skill she possessed, every expectation she had exceeded… I reminded her that she had made her brother proud, her father proud… me proud. When I finally tightened the knot of the tie against her neck, I whispered to her that I was proud to call myself her Blade and she pulled me to her. My hands gripped her tie and it was the only thing that grounded me as I felt her body pressed so tightly against mine. She said nothing, but she held me to her until she found her own strength._

_I remember the day she assigned me to be her eyes and ears in Gormott. I remember how much it hurt to step on that Titan battleship without her by my side. A part of my heart broke that day, but from the look in her eyes, I think a part of hers did as well. I tied her tie for the last time that day and jokingly told her she would have to learn to do it on her own from now on. All she did was grab my hand after I had tightened the knot and smiled warmly at me. Lady Mὸrag can weave a sonnet with a single glance._

_When the Aegis had been spotted, I sent her a letter, asking that she come to my aide. I didn’t actually expect her to break one of our most fearsome battleships to reach me so quickly. My heart broke a touch when she made it seem as though she only came for the Aegis, but the moment Dughall was out of the way, she grabbed my hand, gave me that warm smile again, and asked if I was alright. After so many months of being apart… I almost told her then. She came so quickly because I had told her I had been bested in battle. She thought I was hurt. She ruined a Titan Battleship… for me._

_There have been many more moments since then when I have felt the truth on the tip of my tongue…_

_And just as many that have reminded me why I haven’t let it out._

_For a woman who is normally so reserved and resilient, she takes off all those masks when she’s with me. She feels safe enough to let me comfort her, to be completely vulnerable in front of me. How could I possibly risk taking that from her? No, Lady Mὸrag has suffered enough loss for one lifetime. I can bear the burden of my fear if it means she can have someone to always rely on… and I can hold on to my most treasured Driver._

_The love she already shows me may not be as deep and passionate as I long for, but it is more than enough for me. It is more than I’ve ever had._

_I won’t do anything to risk losing the one Driver in all my chronicling who has seen me as a person, not just a weapon._

A gloved hand touches the last line of ink with silent reverence. She hadn’t meant to read it. She had only meant to come into their room and draft an update for the Emperor. The journal was there, on the desk. It had been open… that was the only reason Mὸrag had laid eyes on what she told Brighid she never would. She saw her name and before she knew it, her heart was forcing her to continue… pounding louder with every word.

A creak of wood and a startled gasp are enough to make her blood run cold.

When she turns, Brighid is starting back at her and for once, Mὸrag wishes her eyes had remained closed. It would have spared her from seeing the heartbreak and betrayal in those purple orbs. Subconsciously, she reaches a hand up to rest over the knot of her tie. Her heart breaks with Brighid’s as the silence builds a wall between them.

They stand there, begging the other to find the courage to speak…

…but the silence lingers on.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't handle leaving Brighid feeling rejected like that... today was a better day.

Brighid makes the first move. She doesn’t speak, she merely rushes forward and pushes Mὸrag out of the way. A burning hand slams her journal closed and she remains frozen. Mὸrag feels a part of her shatter as their ether connection runs dry.

“Brighid, I…” she reaches a gloved hand forward, but it falls short.

“You read it… didn’t you?”

The Ardainian lowers her head. “I’m sorry. I saw it on the table and I-”

“And you took that as an invitation!?” The flame Blade whirls around, her eyes shut with fury. “I thought you were different!”

Her heart seizes. “Please, Brighid… it was a mistake. I’m sor-“

“No.” She picks up the journal, holds it firmly her chest, and turns her face away. “You should leave.”

Mὸrag clenches her fists tightly at her side. She wants to protest, to explain herself clearly, but a single glance at her Blade washes away all the fight she had left. Brighid’s shoulders are slumped and the angry lines marring her face have given way to clear devastation. She had done that. Her moment of thoughtlessness… she didn’t have the right to ask for forgiveness.

“As you wish.” The Ardainain turns and walks briskly toward the door. She pauses for a moment with water pooling in her eyes, her hand gripping the frame tightly as she forces herself not to look back. “I-I just want you to know, you are not the only one afraid of rejection.”

She doesn't wait for a reply.

Brighid watches her go with near instant regret. She had been furious – angered by the invasion of privacy – but then Mὸrag’s last words had gripped her heart with almost a sense relief. The truth was out. She was finally free from the burden of keeping it all hidden, but then… then she had sent Mὸrag away before even knowing if it was requited. Was her self-righteous anger worth pushing her Driver away? Mὸrag hadn’t looked upset or disgusted… she had looked shocked… almost hopeful… and those parting words… did she?

Oh for the love of the Architect…

\---

Mὸrag walks blindly through the grass in the Inner Sanctum. Her heart screams for her to turn back, to force Brigid to listen to her, but she can’t. She had already hurt her Blade enough. Why couldn’t she have just opened her damn mouth? All she had to do was tell Brighid the truth and everything would have…

The wind is suddenly knocked out of her and she stumbles forward as a weight slams into her back. Tight hands clutch at the front of her uniform, keeping her upright. Looking down, she sees the familiar blue hue and her damaged heart begins to fill. With slight hesitation, she lifts her own gloved digits and places them gently over those holding her.

“Brighid?”

“You’re a fool, Mὸrag.”

She would have laughed at the gall of her Blade had it not felt so deserved. “I-I’m truly sorry.”

“I know…” Brighid holds her in place, not allowing her Driver to turn. “May I ask what for?”

The Ardainian runs her thumb over the warm knuckles against her chest. “I broke my promise to you.”

The Blade sighs, resting her forehead against her back. “You’re not sorry to have seen those words?”

Mὸrag stiffens at the implication. She quickly pries Brighid’s hands from her chest and spins before her Blade can react. Her palms grasp both of her exposed shoulders, holding the woman close to her as she stares intently at the hidden gaze before her.

“You’re asking if your words offended me?” A nod is all she needed to see. “Brighid… my only regret is that I forced your hand. I promised to never read what you wrote because I wanted you to trust me. I wanted to learn about you when you felt ready to speak. It would have been one thing for me to pry into your past, but I… I stole a moment from your present… from your future…”

Her shoulders slump as she bends her head in shame. “Those early pages – that is who you used to be. I have always respected your desire to remember your old selves, but they aren’t who you are _now_. They aren’t _my_ Blade.” Mὸrag lets out a shuddered breath. “What I did today... I stole a memory you should have made when you felt ready… one I’ve waited with so much fear to share _with_ you.”

Brighid’s heart fills with a strange mix of pain and warmth. She can’t deny the truth behind Mὸrag’s words. A precious secret had been taken from her, but had a potential memory been lost?

“Lady Mὸrag…” she lifts a warm hand to caress the tear stained cheeks before her. “I-I’m not sure I would have _ever_ been ready. You read the last of the page, did you not? I would have been content to love you from afar your whole life… just to keep what we had.”

Mὸrag’s eyes widen. “We still have it! Please…”

Brighid smiles. “We do… did you mean what you said right before you left?”

Amber eyes set with clear focus. “Yes. I have let my heart betray you with cowardice for quite some time now.”

“And what made you keep reading when you realized it was my journal open on that desk?”

Mὸrag closes her eyes as her throat restricts in shame. “It was too late. Your feelings were so clear even from the first few lines. I-I was selfish. I…”

“You wanted proof your feelings were returned.”

“Yes.”

“And do you have it?”

Another tear trails down. “I do. Do you?”

Brighid laughs lightly, wiping Mὸrag’s face dry of tears. “I believe your reaction to all this is the only proof I’ve ever needed.”

The Ardainian sighs with relief and pulls her Blade against her. “Brighid…”

“I forgive you, Lady Mὸrag.” She holds tight to the back of the woman’s uniform. “I doubt I would have ever found the courage to tell you myself… perhaps a part of me left the journal open on purpose…”

“I still should never have betrayed your trust.”

“No, but I won’t regret the end result.”

Mὸrag pulls out of the embrace just enough to meet Brighid’s hidden gaze. “I know have no right to ask anything of you, but…”

“What is it?”

A smile graces her lips as a light flush passes over her cheeks. “May I kiss you?”

“Please do.”

Mὸrag removes her cap and bridges the space between them. When their lips finally touch, it’s almost too painfully soft to bear. She sags against Brighid’s warmth, relief stitching together the fear tattered pieces of her heart. Her own foolishness had nearly cost her… _everything_. As if Brighid can hear her thoughts, a burning hand pinches at the back of her neck. She can almost hear the woman’s gentle voice telling her to stay focused.

She swears to spend a lifetime making up for what she has done, and she swears to do so by holding Brighid’s heart tightly against hers… where it truly belongs.

\---

Pyra sighs as she steps into the Inner Sanctum. Rex and the others had been eager to shop around for the afternoon, but she had felt a strong urge to just rest and think over the jumbled mess of feelings in her heart. Mythra had not been keen on stepping in for her. Her ears catch the sound of hushed voices around her. Lifting her head, she takes in the sight of what has drawn the attention of a rather nosy bunch of Indoline monks.

Mὸrag and Brighid were…

She watches as they part, but only just slightly. Their arms remain wrapped tightly around each other and their gaze never wavers. Her heart jumps when Mὸrag leans forward, resting their foreheads together as she whispers words so sweet that they make Brighid blush and her flames burn higher. One of her blue hands reaches up and tugs on Mὸrag’s tie. It makes the Inquisitor laugh and kiss her yet again.

A part of her feels terrible for watching such a private moment between the two, but the rest of her heart fills with a renewed sense of confidence. With a final smile in their direction, Pyra turns back to the marketplace… whispering a thank you to Brighid.

\---

Later that night, when they’ve all returned to their rooms in anticipation of their meeting with the Praetor tomorrow, Brighid can't find the means to sleep. She sits up in bed, with her back against the headboard as she looks down at her Driver. With no secrets left between them, the Ardainian had simply refused to put up with any unnecessary distance and had crawled into Brighid’s bed. The Blade had no desire to refuse her.

The vision of Mὸrag, so vulnerable in sleep beside her, is one she knows she will cherish every day moving forward.

Sighing contently, she turns her hidden gaze back to the journal in her lap, illuminated by the gently glow of her arms and hair.

_I once believed I had a world of reasons to keep my love only between the worn pages of this book, but I should have known better. I should have trusted her. She should have trusted me. How much time did we waste hoping and waiting for the other to say something?_

_In the end, I may have been berating myself more than Pyra. I did not truly deserve to be her Blade until today, but now, we are something even more._

_It may not have been the most elegant of confessions, but I will never regret the way she stumbled her way fully into my heart._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I forgiven for Chapter 1?


End file.
